Groundhog Day – The Long Version

Hey Helen,

I’ve got this idea swimming around in my head and I wanted to share it with you because, well, you’re so awesome and kind and generous and beautiful.  I want to share everything with you!  Do you want to be buried together?  Too much?  Ok… nevermind.

So here’s what is taking up a large portion of my brain these days – Groundhog Day.  Not the holiday, the movie.  The one with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell that my mom hates because it frustrates her almost as much as that Mad About You Thanksgiving episode where they drop the turkey out the window.  Basic premise in case you haven’t seen it (and it’s ok if you haven’t – I’ve never seen a Godfather movie or Indian Jones), a guy repeats the same day (Groundhog Day, specifically)  a bajillion times until he gets it right.  (Spoiler Alert! WhenhHe finally does get it right he continues on with his life starting with February 3rd).  So for Bill Murray’s character, getting it “right” means,  not using lies to get into someone chick’s pants, not stealing money from a Brink’s truck, saving someone’s life, blah blah blah.  I think the shitty moral of the story is that once he realizes that he has the opportunity to learn from each repetitive day, he starts using the days to learn more about Andie MacDowell’s character until finally he can be the perfect man for her (because we live in America and the only way we know it’s a happy ending is if two people fall in love.  ugh).

Chances are, we – you and me (although, less me than you cuz you’re special and I’m just… Lisa) will never have this opportunity.  But… we kinda do, right?  So listen, I’m not perfect.  I know… I know… I’ll give you a minute to digest.  I’m flawed, Helly Belly.  I have lied and cheated and stolen.  I have made up excuses to not see people or go to work.  I’ve snuck into movies without paying and drank the last beer in the fridge, even when it wasn’t mine to drink.  But most of my personality flaws are rooted in my avoidance of confrontation.  I would rather turn the lights off in my room and pretend I’m not home than talk to my roommates sometimes.  I ignore calls from people who I have plans with and have no intention of keeping.   I abide by the “fizzle out” method of breaking up relationships, which involves more email and text deleting than talking, explaining and apologizing.   And I figure – that’s me!  Lisa!  You know Lisa – she doesn’t like people.  She doesn’t like talking.  She’s fierce and self confident and doesn’t need your silly  human connection.  I could live my life as that Lisa.  Every day.  And nothing would change.  It might not be February 2nd when I wake up, but in the broad sense, it sorta is.

Or… I could use each job, each relationship, each thing that bothers me as an opportunity.  I can learn how to get better at avoiding or get better at confronting and fixing.  I can learn how to steal money from the Brink’s truck, or learn how to do the Heimlich maneuver (interesting tidbit – I knew how to spell “Heimlich” but not “maneuver”).   So now, each time I make plans, I think about if I want to keep them and if I don’t, I’m honest about it.  And when I’m dating someone and something doesn’t feel right, I’m more apt to say it than stay home with my phone off watching Closer.   And maybe someday I’ll get up the nerves to tell my roommates that I’m annoyed that I’m the only one who picks up the mail.  … or not…  Anyway, I think it’s a fair point.  Maybe one you could pass it along to your less perfect friends.  The only way to change the date is to, well, change.

Thanks for listening Hellz.  I know I can always be myself around you.

xo

Lisa

August 24, 2011. Uncategorized.